Prongs the rednosed Reindeer
by sreduaram
Summary: A slightly intoxicated Lily mistakes James for her favourite christmas creature. And what better way to get in to the christmas spirit than a little ensuing blackmail?


Lily Evans had always been an excellent example of a head student. She did her homework on time, got good marks and was nice to everyone. She was a model student; the teachers loved her, as did all the students. She reprimanded bullies, was kind to first years, and always had a smile on her face. She was Hogwarts' golden child.

Which was why it was a little strange that she was drunk.

It was an accident. She honestly hadn't intended to drink so much. With the holiday season coming it seemed perfect to let herself go a little. However, a little had soon turned to a lot. First it was the swaying, a little stutter, a few giggles. Another glass or two later came the stumbling. It wasn't her fault the wall wanted to high-five her face. She didn't feel nearly Christmassy enough, so then came the tinsel. It went very well with her uniform in her opinion. And after a few more drinks, she decided to embark upon a Christmas adventure.

And everyone knows the only place to have a Christmas adventure is the Forbidden Forest. So Lily Evans stumbled her way through the hallways and out onto the grounds.

She had never experienced a Hogwarts Christmas before. But this year Petunia had happened. After marrying the whale otherwise known as Vermin Dursley, this year family celebrations would be at the Dursley residence. A place Lily had been kindly been informed earlier that week, through a short note, that she would not be welcomed. So instead of having the company of her family, Lily had found herself enjoying the company of a bottle of firewhisky. Or seven.

It was while Lily was trudging through the snow and pondering ways to dispose of her sister's body that she discovered her Christmas miracle.

There it was, amongst the shrubbery. In her intoxicated state the most obvious response to such a sight was to quite literally prance towards the thing.

"RUDOLF!" she shrieked, throwing her arms around its neck. Her find was clearly a reindeer.

"Oh Rudolf, you were always my favourite reindeer," she commented, absent-mindedly stroking its coat. She continued to talk at it, "Why are you at Hogwarts though? I s'pose it makes sense that Santa was a wizard."

And then it struck her. So she told Rudolf.

"Merlin! Dumbledore is Santa isn't he? The beard gave it away," she informed him, terribly pleased with her discovery.

She looked at Rudolf. He was awfully boring for a reindeer. And Lily, as head girl, felt it was only her duty as a student of Dumbledore to decorate his mode of transport. Firewhisky in the past had brought out the vicious in Lily, but tonight it brought out her inner musical calling.

"_DECK THE DEER IN LOTS OF BAUBLES. FALALALALA-LA-LA-LA-LA._

_AND SOME TINSEL, FOR THE ANTLERS. FALALALALA-LA-LA-LA-LA._

_DUMBLEDORE IS REALLY SANTA. FA-LALA-LALALA-LA-LA-LA"_

Lily then proceeded to decorate the deer, hoping that Dumbledore would appreciate her good work.

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Later that night a very pleased James Potter traipsed into his dormitory.

"James, why are there baubles on your ears?" Sirius asked, looking up from a magazine filled with scantily clad muggle girls.

"Lily loves me! She told me so just then!" James replied, throwing himself down onto his bed with a sigh to rival a Victorian heroine.

Remus and Peter raised their eyebrows, while Sirius simply snorted.

"Okay, so not quite..." James corrected. James had a habit over stating his relationship with Lily just a little.

"Right, just how last week you told us she asked to ravage you in a hallway, when she actually just asked you to pass the pumpkin juice?"

Each of his roommates burst out laughing. James simply glared in response.

"But back to why you look like a Christmas tree, besides for of course Lily's love for you?"

James continued to retell the events of the night. And thus a plan was formed, because every holiday season needs a good bout of blackmail.

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To say Lily woke up with a bad headache was a vast understatement. For the first time she was quite happy to be rid of the usual noise of sharing a dorm room with five other girls. She dressed herself ready for breakfast, only to be halted in the Gryffindor common room by a smirking James Potter. Lily gave him her usual greeting of a glare, with the addition of a low growl just for extra spirit.

"So, excited to see Dumbledore this morning, my dear flower?" James enquired, elbow propped against the wall to block the portrait hall. Lily threw him a confused look. "Well," he continued, growing more smug by the second, "I've heard you've always been fond of kind men, especially the ones with beards. A little like that muggle Santa fellow Remus told me about."

Lily gave an awkward laugh. She could only wonder how Potter new this.

"I've also heard you found a friend, a reindeer? Dumbledore will be so pleased you met Rudolf" James smiled down at Lily knowingly.

She feigned a scoff. "That's absurd. What are you even talking about?"

"Well Lily, I think the rumour mill will be very pleased to hear about your drunken adventure last night, don't you think?"

After getting over initial shock, Lily narrowed her eyes and grabbed his collar. James opened his mouth to speak, waggling his eyebrows at her.

"Don't you even try, Potter," a seething Lily muttered. This intense glare worked when scaring off mischievous first years, but this was James Potter she was dealing with.

"You know what would help your situation Evans?" Potter responded, voice slightly strained due to the wand probing his neck. "I may be less inclined to share my knowledge, if you came on a date with me, you know."

Lily pushed her wand further into his neck. Getting her knee ready for connection to his nether regions.

"Are trying to blackmail me, Potter?" James simply gave her an innocent smile. Lily's look of anger soon became one of confusion.

"Wait, how do you even know about that? Were you stalking me? I feel so violated! You slut!" James was a little scared by her outburst, though he would never admit it.

"Well, you certainly weren't thinking that last night. I seem to recall you stroking me," he began. For a second Lily had a twinge of fear that she had slept with James Potter, but this was replaced with confusion as he added, "and coated me in tinsel and some baubles."

Wearing his infamous Potter smirk, he seemed awfully pleased with himself. "So, that date Evans?" James suggested. With the amount of rejections he had faced from her, blackmail did seem like a good answer.

Lily raised an eyebrow, "Because you are a deer?" She laughed, thinking aloud, "Right, James Potter, quidditch extraordinaire, head boy, and _deer_? Obviously. You honestly think I'm going to believe that you're a bloody animal, Potter? I know you think you're good at charms, but even you aren't that good. How gullible d'you think I am, it's not like you're an animagus!"

James attempted to hide the look of fear that crossed his eyes, but Lily had seen it. Her mouth fell open, after a few failed attempts to form coherent words. "Y-you aren't, right?" she probed. His complete and utter denial of this allegation did the opposite of what he intended. The only words running through James mind were 'oh shit'. James was expecting a slap or a lecture or some other form of torture, so he was not expecting her next remark.

"Well, that makes your attempt at blackmail a little bit of a failure. How awkward for you." Pushing her way past a well stunned Potter, Lily made her way to a well needed breakfast. Right before she went through the portrait hole, Lily turned and quickly added "But about that date, the Three Broomsticks next Hogsmeade weekend?" leaving an even more stunned James behind.

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_A/N: Merry Christmas everyone! This is my christmas present to all you guys :) It's been like a year or something since I've last written, so I apologise if this isn't my best piece of writing. I also had a little trouble with the formatting, thus the many slashes to split everything up. Please review, constructive crit is always welcome! Hope santa is good to you (and may you find James Potter under your tree), from the awesomer half of sreduaram (though I think the other one beg to differ) xx_


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